Not Quite Dead

Mars Attacks

President
Good morning. Nice to see you all again. I only have a few minutes for questions, so let’s get started…

Journalist
Do the Martians have two sexes like we do?

Character 1
[adjective] morning. Nice to see you [nouns] again. I only have [number] minutes for [nouns], so let’s get started…

Character 2
Do the [nouns] have [number] [body parts] like we do?

Zombieland

Tallahassee
Are you fucking with me?

Columbus
Uh, no. You should actually limber up as well. Especially if we’re going down that hill. It is very important.

Tallahassee
I don’t believe in it. You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?

Character 1
Are you [verb]-ing with [noun]?

Character 2
Uh, no. You should [adverb] [verb two] as well. Especially if we’re [verb]-ing down that [noun]. It is very important.

Character 1
I don’t believe in it. You ever see a [noun] [verb two] before it [verb] a [noun]?

Gremlins 2

Yogurt Customer #1
[Screaming] It’s a rat.

Yogurt Customer #2
Oh my God.

Yogurt Customer #3
What’s going on here? Did she say there was a rat?

Yogurt Jerk #2
No, she said there was no rat.

Character 1
[verb]-ing It’s an [noun].

Character 2
[exclamation].

Character 3
What’s going on here? Did [person] say there was an [same noun]?

Character 4
No, [same person] said there was no [same noun].

Play a round of comedy bingo with these Not Quite Dead virtual bingo cards.

Check out these tropes we included that are sure to pop up:

• Nightmare Retardant
• Absurd Phobia

And make sure you know the difference between these two iconic screams:

• The Howie Scream
• The Wilhelm Scream